Our imperfections define us. Our noble attempts at perfection are proof that we understand this.All of us understand the pain of failure and we strive hard not to. But sometimes, failure is inevitable.
We always have two or more options in every situation. Whether we admit it or not, choices are always aplenty.Sometimes, the choices are simple. We can either become a better version of our self or worse. I’m not sure which path is better. I guess It depends on the moral compass of the individual.But mistakes and errors happen.
We makes mistakes and sometimes the consequences ripple into other people’s lives too. From the affected person’s perspective, they need not be welcome and if they react with an aggressive response, the ripples soon turn into turbulent waves that could rock the relationship. Sometimes, even sink it.
I guess forgiveness alone can help calm such turbulent waters.For me, for reasons unknown and unexplored, forgiving others is easier than forgiving my self.
I’m my worst critic and keep traveling back in time to sermonize my younger self.Irrespective of the magnitude of the error, I make my younger self stand in a harsh spotlight and judge him. The one man Judge, Jury and advocate are all busy analyzing every minute detail of the error.Harsh. Very harsh.
Some part of me understands that it is futile to hold such a court. And if it were another person who committed a mistake, I point out the various variables involved to help the person save face and feel better. So why can’t I help myself? Why am I my worst critic?
I believe I have to start forgiving my younger self but where do I start? Unconditional love is easier said than done. But I’m going to try a trick.
I’m going to pretend to be someone who is very easy on me (my grandmother) and view the mistake through her kinder and softer perspective. She is the one person whom I can say for sure has loved me unconditionally despite all my mistakes. The bond we share is very special and I have always felt safe and loved in her warm embrace.
I hope this trick brings me peace. I hope I can love my self unconditionally despite my several imperfections.